Goodbye Rotting Meatbags

I just found out that I am an absolute Bad-Ass and I had no freakin' idea! A good friend of mine had a link to this Zombie Survival Test and I scored big time. Turns out that I would survive for 2 years on my own. That is way longer than any of those schmucks in a zombie flick. Losers! I'm going to strut into work on Friday I shout to the whole store, "I KICK ZOMBIE ASS!".

What's in a Name?

There are certain Universal Truths that govern our lives. Ideas or concepts that exist without the consent of human reason and understanding. We can not fight them, we can not change them. We must accept them as they are. The Truths are beyond us, greater than our collective intellect. We can not grasp them no matter the effort we may expend. There is no Who, What, or How? There are no answers because there are no questions. There is only the Truth.

I am going to share with you one of these Universal Truths. I do this because I am generous and I care for my fellows. You may not like the Truth but do not attempt to change it, the struggle is futile. Many have tried and all have failed. It is what it is and let us leave it at that.

So I tell you now, the Truth; No man is allowed to choose his own nickname. I have given you knowledge, do you feel the Enlightenment? Even as you read it you know it to be the Truth. It seems so elementary, so duh. The Truth was there before you all along, you just needed someone to confirm it for you. You're welcome.

And that my friends (in all seriousness) is why I am known as Mr. BlahZeeBlah. Not because I asked to be known by that title but because it was selected for me by my friends. It's not a bad thing and in all fairness it's my own fault. I have a habit of telling stories that get off track and then when I realize that I have gotten off track I use my phrase "Blahzeeblah" to get back to where I need to be. So that's where BlahZeeBlah comes from. I am Blahzeeblah and Blahzeeblah is me.

For those of you that need to have everything spelled out let me offer a little bit on why a man is not allowed to chose his own nickname. And yes I do only mean men. For starters take a look at any man's username for any thing. His (non-professional) email, his gamer tag, his forum posts. They all sound like they were written by a thirteen year old fella trying to impress the cheerleader co-captain that sits across from him in science class. All overly macho, hellbent ass-kicker, and eat lightning, crap thunder. Believe me, if you're a hard core tough guy you shouldn't have to brag about it, especially on the internet where 1. you'll never meet the people you are bragging to and 2. no one cares. So in order for a nickname to be an accurate reflection of who you really are and REALLY mean something be it good or ill, it must come from some other source. Otherwise it's just a bunch of guys named Butch, Rocky, Rambo, and Bad Ass M*****F*****.

Mystry solved, we can all go on with ours lives, thank you, good night, and don't forget to tip your waitress. And for those of you that know me, specifically those of you that came up with my nickname, thanks for not calling me something totally craptacular. Like Fiddle Sticks.